So I'm terrible at blogging...have you noticed?! :)
Lots and nothing really has happened in the past few months. It seems it's the same old, same old but in Vernon, BC instead of Airdrie, AB.
I'm so ready for the holiday season to be over. Chanukah was very quiet for hubby and me this year. It was the first time for being totally by ourselves during the holidays. Very strange and I didn't like it!
Chanukah ended at sundown on Dec. 12 this year. The Christmas season was ramping up all around us and I have been mulling it all over for several weeks.
My journey out of Christendom has led me in some very different and diverse directions. I don't regret any of it because I believe I wouldn't be where I am on my journey today and I like where I am now. But I do regret my own reaction to some of the "places" I've been on this path and I regret some of my interactions with loved ones during these times. So this has been very much at the forefront of my mind as I’ve pondered the Christmas celebrations all around us.
Hubby and I haven't celebrated Christmas for about 6 or 7 years and we haven't put up a tree for about 13 years. I really don't miss it. What I do miss is being part of something bigger than just my immediate family. I miss all the warm fuzzies from big family celebrations, the preparation and anticipation of an event that nearly everyone around is getting ready for. I wonder if maybe I'm just being too rigid or idealistic in my thinking. Are we missing out on good times with extended family for no good reason? I'm curious how people from other faith backgrounds are able to participate in Christmas without any apparent problems. Does everything have to be a "big deal" for us? Can't we just enjoy the warmth of the season? It’s not that I completely distance myself from the holiday. I enjoy wishing my family and friends a happy holiday. And I send cards to them and a few small gifts to special people in my life. After all, I want the people I love to know that I care about them and what is happening in their lives. (Which brings up a point that really irks me. Almost my entire family and friend circle knows we celebrate Chanukah instead of Christmas. So if I take the time to send Christmas cards to family and friends that I love, why do they either ignore us and not send a card at all, or send us a Christmas one? Why is the same respect not extended in return to us? Sigh)
So far, I've come up with 3 different scenarios of how I could celebrate Christmas.
#1 - I could go back to celebrating it as a Christian religious holiday, the celebration of the birth of Christ. But honestly, this really isn't an option any more. Since I no longer consider myself a Christian or believe in Jesus as a saviour/messiah figure, celebrating the holiday in this manner would cause too great of a conflict with my faith/belief system.
#2 - I could celebrate it as the purely pagan holiday it originally was. With decorated trees, winter solstice, yule log etc. just minus the baby Jesus. Again, this presents another conflict with my faith and religious convictions. (Pagan worshippers, in my mind, have every right to be upset with the fact that their holiday was hijacked by another religion.)
#3 - So I'm left with celebrating Christmas on a purely secular/materialistic level. Enjoy the festivities, the pretty lights and give gifts. This would allow for the warm fuzzies with family and friends but celebrating Christmas in this manner still offends me in a moral sense. How can I really participate in a holiday of mass consumerism? A holiday that stresses people out to the max and focuses on not only buying THE perfect gift but also on buying LOTS of perfect gifts. sigh. It's not for me.
I feel that "relationshipping" with people is extremely important and I want to continue to build these connections with my family/friends. I want to spend happy times with the special people in my life. I don't have this figured out yet. I wonder if I ever will. I wonder what it's like to live in a place where there is no Christmas. It must be a relief.
